結婚前にすべての女性がしなければならないこと／使徒フェミ・ラザロ #愛 #結婚
to look at before people hurry into can we get married we are getting married and I’ve said it anywhere there’s haste you might not know the person you are marrying because once you bring that thing in place immediately number one it’s a sign that there’s no emotional intelligence because the two people now will be giving themselves the marriage format and that’s why sometimes unbelievers are better at being friends than believers sometimes sometimes Because they don’t fake anything. They don’t hide anything. Nar they think you will chop. Bless you brother John. Brother Nali. How are you today? So good to see you sir. You person want marry you. Say sir. The worst one are the brothers that want to marry a sister. The first sister you sister joy. You give me joy. Punch line point day. But I’m not ready to help anybody tonight. It’s it’s so amazing things we do and that’s why in this church we we try to I mean we are all brothers and sisters in Christ but we try to pull down those filters so that we don’t have a house of pretense. I’m not saying people call themselves brothers and sisters they are pretending but sometimes it covers many things that you never get to know them. Are you following? You never really get to know those things. Do you understand what I’m saying? The person you are dating, do you know the person or you are still pretending? What do you talk? What do you say when you talk? What does the person know about you? Some people are not relatable. You understand what I’m saying? They are like people that sleep with rain coat. Always on guard. Always on guard. I I shared my story. I was in a relationship with a sister. That’s my worst experience. I I didn’t know as then that I can have any experience worse than the ones I’ve had. Every time we sit down to talk, he talks about angels, categories of angels, encounter with cherubims, practically encounter with saraphims and all those things and I’ll sit down my whole life will flash before me and I’ll ask myself is this what I want to do for the rest of my life in all honesty. in all honesty. So one day she’s been talking. I said let me even ask you what’s your love language? Ah it’s prayer and pray. It’s good for people to pray together but you are human. Is it act of service? Is it gift? Is it no prayer? I said okay. So I became sick and it was not a sickness that was that serious but it was and then they told her pastor is sick. So she came. I was laying down. My roommate all of them got up and then she came. She looked at me and she did like this. Look at me. Look at me. power. Something’s going to happen here. Something’s going to happen here. Mayaunt. Tap my chest. Be healed. Now, in in all honesty, I love prayers, but there are people that can make it look like you don’t like prayer. When she give me that slam like three times, I’m fine. Said, “Now get up. Do the things you could not do before.” things we used to say in meetings. That day I made up my mind. I said the all all these wala now you are putting me through just just super pack and tea. I I’ll be fine. Oh, because what is worrying me is not more than that. I I’ll just be fine. But that’s where we found ourselves. So we need to talk about the practical aspect because sometimes we as believers we we don’t deal with these things and we we live a life of lies only for us never to know them. Are you ready? Number one, there are some things you must understand before I start. Marriage is not just a destination. It is a journey. It is a journey. It is a journey that requires a lot of equipping. More importantly because the quality of the life you will live depends on it. requires being equipped. You cannot overprepare for marriage. You cannot overprepare. At the end of the day, you still meet things you were not really prepared for. Are you following what I’m saying here? You still have culture shock because in marriage you are trying to live and spend the rest of your life with the person you have never lived with. And there was a research done by Oxford University that showed that couples who wait or who waited till after marriage succeed more in marriage than those who start living together before getting married. So cohabitation is forbidden. It is a sin. When you begin to coabit bringing temptation to your doorstep. So the journey of marriage requires a lot of equipping because the quality of your life depends on it. Whether you spend your life arguing and making up or you spend your life fulfilling purpose depends on how well you are prepared. So get busy maximizing your single days. Don’t it see it as an opportunity to be equipped to learn to prepare and like I said you cannot overprepare. Is that okay now? I said is that okay now? So let me begin to show you practical things, all right, that you need to put in place before you get married. So I’m going to break this into the two genders. Is that okay? Now, so who do I start with? Let me start with the ladies. Practical things a woman needs to put in place before you get married. Now all these things I’m going to list are not the only things, but they’re important. Is that okay? They are not the only things, but they are what? They are very important. They are very important. Number one, as a woman, the first thing to put in place, ill. I heal. I heal. I heal completely. I heal from your past, ill from the dysfunctionality of your background, ill from your ex, ill from the pains afflicted on you by your father, ill from your emotional traumas. Now listen to this. The journey of healing is between you and God, not between you and your husband. And that’s a very bitter truth. There are wounds that only God can help you mend. And the danger of not healing before you say I do is that you begin to bleed on the one who didn’t enjoy you. That’s the danger. So you need to heal. And this is a very serious one. One of the signs that you need healing is that you overreact. Overreacting to things is a sign that you are seeing someone else in your spouse. Overreacting to your spouse reaction out of fear. Sometimes you are not really responding to him. You are responding to the person he reminds you of. You are seeing your dad in him. You are seeing your ex in him. You are seeing the person who tried to rape you in him. Are you seeing that now? You are seeing the people who insulted you while growing up in him ill from the words spoken to you. The wrong words. Those who called you wicked and who said you can’t keep a home. Heal. You need to heal before you deal. And very important thing you must get right is your healing. And like I said, your healing process is between you and the Holy Spirit. is the one who can mend broken heart. Are you following what I’m saying here? And see sometimes listen to this and listen well. If you keep carrying the baggages of these emotional traumas and you keep carry them, what is going to happen is that you keep multiplying the pain because people will just not understand the reason why this is a very good girl. But you can’t seem to get through her. She seem to be world everywhere. She does not respond to words of affirmation. Not because she’s not emotional but because that heart you see when when sometimes people feel it is strength not to be soft and loving as a woman. It is not strength is a weakness. A real woman is feminine. She’s not trying to be another man. And sometimes instead of people healing they get hardened. There is a way life can make you hard. The pain is still underneath but there’s now a wall. If something happens that punctures it, you see that person not just bleeding, there’s now mo and different things under some people are not healed, they are now hard. They found a way to cope with life. And what is happening is that they have severed certain aspect of their life and say I can’t give this one to a man. I can’t trust a man like this anymore. Life happens to all of us. But the only way to stay winning is to heal. Is to heal. Sometimes some children can’t understand. They can’t understand the reason why particularly girls why they are not in touch with their mothers because woman too is not fine. And sometimes what we have is wounded people raising wounded people and we communicate the injuries. We get ideologies and philosophies from our injuries. No trust man while we trust man. You are going to marry someone and you say don’t trust the person and you wonder the reason why you in pain. So now it’s even becoming a general thing that women are telling their daughters that if you want to have peace, don’t take your husband’s phone because of what they saw in their own husband’s phone. Heal. You have a past, you have scars, you have mistakes, you have ex or exes, those who promised you marriage, promised you heaven and earth. I don’t know where you expect the rest of us to leave, but the guy left. People you never thought will walk out of your life one day, but they left. And when they left, they left with the most potent part of you, and it looks like you’ve been struggling to heal. Heal. See, let me say this to you. If you refuse to forgive the people who betrayed you, you are injuring yourself again. If you refuse to forgive that hex who broke up with you mass, have you have you seen people? Do you see we only talk about punch lines? There are punch lines for breakup. One boy broke up with a girl and told the girl that when daddy Joe was praying for me, Daddy Joe said it is better to be single, wait to be married, that to be married to I said that’s a word from the should up with you only God knows the number of people that have used my name to to lie that apostle was praying for me. He if if anybody has told you that now lie I didn’t say anything like that. ill. In fact, people people break up mercilessly with text message. I’m done with you. Do your wor journey of 5 years. And the girl look around and say, “If this is what love is, I’m done.” No, you are not done. You will love again. I said, “You are not done. You will love again.” Anyways, those who left you, it’s God trying to show you that they are not the only ones that exist. He still has better. He has sons. I said God have sons. Now let me say this to you. Life is not easy for the blind. You are not worthless. You’re only around those who don’t know your value. When the person you were designed for comes, you’ll be everything they prayed for and more. Why should you be crying over those that want to manage you? You saw what that girl wrote that time that last week said, “I have somebody I want to date, but I should come to you first to check you out.” We’ll get there. Now emotional trauma is real. It’s very very real. It is so bad that in marriage some women cannot bear their husbands touching them because of their rape or near rape experience they’ve had and every time the man comes close it looks like he’s about to rape her again. You see you are if you don’t let that aspect to be dealt to be dealt with you are giving the devil a foothold in your life and the devil will mess you up. You need to heal and forgive not because of the person but because of you. The one who is in prison is you. Not the person you have not forgiven. That and you see the the funny thing is that people can ought you and move on and still succeed. And the one they have ought is the one who struggling. They see they will marry and even give birth before you. It is life. Life happens. Your enemy is not necessarily God’s enemy. Life happens to all of us. The person broke up with you didn’t break up with Jesus. If he did the wrong thing, it’s just one time a prayer, you are forgiven, moved on. That’s why you must elo a merry heart dwell good like medicine. But sorrow dries the bone. Some people are no longer looking beautiful and they are looking older than their age because they are carrying too many people in prison. You are block X plus all the friends of the X X raised to power 3 X to power two the friends the family they all blocked. X to power one the last one. You block the person. Is it until you block the entire world? Because you are hiding your pains. What you do is that you sweep them in a coffin. They will keep resurrecting. Other people be sharing their pictures and you’ll be seeing it and you feel sad. Just recover. Take a break. You are not Superman. Okay? Take a break. Cry. It’s okay to cry. Cry if you will. Cry. When you are done crying, wipe your tears. Eat some good amala. Eat some very good food with coke. Cold one. Step it down. Okay. Learn from your mistakes. Pick yourself up again. You are a queen. Get up and deal. That’s how you do it. Get up and deal again. Don’t give people the impression that they are so important you can’t find their kind. Deal. Praise God. That’s the first thing. Very important thing you need to do. Okay. So we don’t have the marriage of broken people who are now dysfunctional and toxic to themselves. Overreaction is a sign that there’s an injury. Who do you see when you look at your spouse? Do you see your spouse? Are you aware some people have never seen their spouse before? Let me share my story. Let me share my story. I couldn’t really love in all honesty. I couldn’t. I was trying. I’ll see people share pictures having you know the way all these fun things you know what those things you do with guitar singing I’ll be wondering what is it that this part in my own life is blocked or what you understand what I’m saying I don’t used to and one day my friend called me early in the morning and he was shouting and he had prayed was calling my name those girls are not so and so and so heal don’t let the devil waste your life and he screaming and something left me and I discovered I was not really seeing them. I was seeing somebody else who had ought in them and sometimes your the person who ought to the most in life your spouse sound like the person sound exactly like the person talks like the person looks like the person imagine what will happen if you don’t heal you would even hate your child for looking like the person these matters are very deep there are many people who are smiling and taking pictures online but they are not fine so good home goes beyond pictures you sir that’s the fact that’s the first thing to do as a lady is that Okay. Number two, are you still with me? Can we continue? It is very important that you learn submission. I’m a boss lady. Stay single. Stay single. You see, stay what? I’m the first one in my house. I I tell my brothers what to do. He’s not your brother. Stay single or marry yourself. Frame your picture. Third one. Let them choose with it. Then breathe life into it and marry yourself. Stay single. Now listen to this. Women who do well in marriage and women who understand submission. That is the injection of the Bible. Ephesians 5:22. Wives submit yourselves to your husband. So you are not using feminist Bible. You are using the holy Bible. Say we’re going to go dodge. You cook. I cook. I’m going to talk about the all right those aspect of marriage. But let me stay with my teaching. Is that okay? Now in marriage as a lady you submit. You see you can be for instance you can be the pastor of your husband that is you pastor him in church you are the pastor is that okay now if he comes for workers meeting you can say please all those people that came stand up it’s your it’s you that know I’m not there I’m not saying you should do that it’s you that know you understand what I’m saying that’s church it’s between you and God and him when you are done doing all those things in church when you get home this is your head you can be the MD the CEO of your company when you get home submit it. And the reason why women have issues with submission is because they have examples of women who submitted to foolish end. So you too, it is now your duty to pick the head you want to submit to. If you know the person is stupid, why did you marry the person? Do you understand what I’m saying? Now I’ve seen cases and people have abused this issue of submission and I’m not going to massage anybody’s ego. I will tell you the truth as it is. People have abused it so much so that some men will wait for their wives to get salary and say come and drop it on my table. Then they will now pick what the woman say I already agree. Calm down. All right. They will now pick and say, “Okay, how much to salary this month?” Okay. 550,000. Okay. Yeah. Take the 50,000. It that’s it. I’m going to get there. Relax. Relax. Relax. Let’s just start. Let’s continue for Is that okay? Now, you saw the person and you went for the person. When you pick what you want to eat at the table, eat it. It’s your responsibility. You when we say know the person you were eating shama were we there were we not where we were you were the one eating shama singing follow me now he’s doing what he’s doing what he was born to do what he has been doing since that you didn’t see because you are not looking just complimenting his beard oh wow they are shining but the brain is not and you can’t see that one I just like you look at his chest wow All mine plus the trouble plus the sense plus the childishness. All yours and enjoy it, sir. All yours. When people say all mine, they don’t know what they talking about. Do you know what all means? Totality. I own it. To own your trouble. Now, no real man should make a woman go through that. You understand what I’m saying? Age does not make you real men. Boys grow old too. Fools grow old too. There are mad old people. There are it doesn’t make you wise. Job said he thought that multitude of age will teach wisdom. But unfortunately it’s not so. So I’m getting older. It’s not the guarantee that you’re ready for marriage. Sometime a 22 year old boy is more ready than a 50-y old man. Sometimes in fact I want to say something but it will be too too much of a bump. So I will not say it. Yes, you are you asked for it to don’t marry a marriage by a woman by a woman alone. There must be a masculine contribution in his life. If not, you have married another woman. Sister John, that’s who you married. Yes, that’s the fact. And let me say this to you. I’m going to pull out. I want to be a single mama. You will eat your children. I’m going to talk about grants for divorce and separation. We’re going to get there. So my person will kill you and die. So that’s the balance. Okay. Uhhuh. There are men who are more women than women. The only thing remains that they’re not bing fingernails. Inside is biscuit inside. I’m telling you sister they are petty. They will check the meat you are eating. What kind of meat is that? Meat am I. I give it to the market. I give 50,000 what did you buy book come explainingh in your calculation 200 is missing how do you say you take bike try wala but you married this fellow too I’m just say my own do you understand what I’m saying you were there when you put 200 Bible take you to church offering change after I give you offering 150 you were there. You say he’s just meticulous. He’s just meticulous. That’s his nature. That’s his nature. He’s a meticulous guy till you almost start counting rice. Is meticul. Number three, as a woman be financially independent. His husband want not sponsor. A man too should learn to give and provide for his household. But for the sake of your esteem, have your own money. Do you understand what I’m saying? You don’t want to be asking for money for pants, for bra, for all those things. Have your own money so that you not have children who don’t pray to be like you. Have your money. Now, financial independence is a lot for a woman. And I wish I could touch the depth of this. Um at least let your hand find something doing even if you will have to work from home for the sake of raising children. Whatsoever it is that the agreement is. Is that okay? Now however little it is be the kind of woman that your husband can fall back on and you don’t say I don’t have all the time. Now let me show you a scripture. Proverbs 31. Proverbs chapter number 31. And I’m going to tell you some very hard fact. People of God, are you with me? Yes, sir. Are you getting tired of me? Yes, sir. Are you sure? Yes, sir. Are you really sure? Yes, sir. Now, look at it. Proverbs chapter number 31. Let’s start reading from verse 10. Proverbs 31:10 says, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her prize is far above rubbies. The heart of her husband doth sibly trust her so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool and flask and flax, sorry, and walketh willingly with her hands. willingly. Not one push. She go and walk Jo willingly with her hands. She’s like the merchant sheep. She bringeth her food from her father. She riseth also while it is yet night and giveth me to her husband to her household and a portion to her maidens. All right? She considered a field and buys it with the fruit of her hands. She planted a vineard. She greeted her loins with strength and strengthen her arms. Now, let me say this to you. It doesn’t matter how we want to push it and push it. You not really have the full honor you should have from your spouse if you are not making your own money. That’s the fact. Real men are gravitated towards women who are productive. That’s the fact. But the woman is doing something, does her own stuff. Looks at her and say, “Yeah, it’s correct. Interesting. That’s why I married. That’s why I married.” Okay. Is that simple enough? Tell the woman beside to say, “Make your own money.” Come on. Come on. Come on. Say it again. Say it again. Be financially independent. It doesn’t matter how little it is be and this this financial dependency start with the issue of small girl big god small girl big god sub me too too geek sub for me say I would have called you video I can’t pick your video call I don’t have sub every time no sub what are you bringing to the table say me total spec of what spec of dust to what full spec like me. What is the spec bringing to the table? We need to address this matter. What is the spec bringing to the table? Say full spec to carry front, carry back. H is money that will maintain it. I say is it no money? You people are quiet. I’m speaking on your behalf. You are quiet. Yes, sir.
APOSTLE FEMI LAZARUS
WHAT EVERY WOMAN MUST DO BEFORE MARRIAGE
SPHERE OF LIGHT CHURCH
LIGHT NATION
