結婚についてこれを理解する必要があります/使徒フェミ・ラザロ #愛 #結婚
always on guard. I I shared my story. I was in a relationship with a sister. That’s my worst experience. I I didn’t know as then that I can have any experience worse than the ones I’ve had. Every time we sit down to talk, he talks about angels, categories of angels, encounter with cherubims, practically encounter with saraphims and all those things. and I’ll sit down my whole life will flash before me and I’ll ask myself is this what I want to do for the rest of my life in all honesty. in all honesty. So one day she’s been talking. I said let me even ask you what’s your love language? Say it’s prayer and pray. It’s good for people to pray together but you are human. Is it act of service? Is it gift? Is it no prayer? I said okay. So I became sick and it was not a sickness that was that serious but it was and then they told her pastor is sick. So she came. I was laying down. My roommate, one of them got up and then she came. She looked at me and she did like this. Ah, David. Look at me. Look at me. Power. Something’s going to happen here. Something’s going to happen here. Mayazunto tap my chest be healed. Now in in all honesty I love prayers but there are people that can make it look like you don’t like prayer. When she give me that slam like three times I’m fine. Said now get up do the things you could not do before things we used to say in meetings. That day I made up my mind. I said the all all this wala now you are putting me through just just just super pack and tea I I’ll be fine because what is worrying me is not more than that I I’ll just be fine but that’s where we found ourselves so we need to talk about the practical aspect because sometimes we as believers we we don’t deal with these things and we we live a life of lies only for us never to know them. Are you ready? Number one, there are some things you must understand before I start. Marriage is not just a destination. It is a journey. It is a journey. It is a journey that requires a lot of equipping. More importantly, because the quality of the life you will live depends on it, requires being equipped. You cannot overprepare for marriage. You cannot overprepare. At the end of the day, you still meet things you were not really prepared for. Are you following what I’m saying there? You still have culture shock because in marriage you are trying to live and spend the rest of your life with the person you have never lived with. And there was a research done by Oxford University that showed that couples who wait or who waited till after marriage succeed more in marriage than those who start living together before getting married. So cohabitation is forbidden. It is a sin. When you begin to coit, you are bringing temptation to your doorstep. So the journey of marriage requires a lot of equipping because the quality of your life depends on it. Whether you spend your life arguing and making up or you spend your life fulfilling purpose depends on how well you are prepared. So get busy maximizing your single days. Don’t it see it as an opportunity to be equipped to learn to prepare and like I said you cannot overprepare. Is that okay now? I said, “Is that okay now?” So, let me begin to show you practical things, all right, that you need to put in place before you get married. So, I’m going to break this into the two genders. Is that okay? Now, so who do I start with? Let me start with the ladies. Practical things a woman needs to put in place before you get married. Now, all these things I’m going to list are not the only things, but they’re important. Is that okay? They are not the only thing, but they are what? They are very important. They are very important. Number one. As a woman, the first thing to put in place, heal. Heal. Heal. Heal completely. Heal from your past. I heal from the dysfunctionality of your background. Heal from your ex. Heal from the pains afflicted on you by your father. Heal from your emotional traumas. Now listen to this. The journey of healing is between you and God, not between you and your husband. And that’s a very bitter truth. There are wounds that only God can help you mend. And the danger of not healing before you say I do is that you begin to bleed on the one who didn’t enjoy you. That’s the danger. So you need to heal. And this is a very serious one. One of the signs that you need healing is that you overreact. Overreacting to things is a sign that you are seeing someone else in your spouse. Overreacting to your spouse reaction out of fear. Sometimes you are not really responding to him. You are responding to the person he reminds you of. You are seeing your dad in him. You are seeing your ex in him. You are seeing the person who tried to rape you in him. Are you seeing that now? You are seeing the people who insulted you while growing up in him from the words spoken to you. The wrong words. Those who called you wicked and who said you can’t keep a home. Heal. You need to heal before you deal. One very important thing you must get right is your healing. And like I said, your healing process is between you and the Holy Spirit. He’s the one who can mend broken heart. Are you following what I’m saying here? And see, sometimes, listen to this and listen well. If you keep carrying the baggages of this emotional traumas and you keep carry them, what is going to happen is that you keep multiplying the pain because people will just not understand the reason why this is a very good girl, but you can’t seem to get through her. She seem to be world war everywhere. She does not respond to words of affirmation. Not because she’s not emotional but because that heart you see when when sometimes people feel it is strength not to be soft and loving as a woman. It is not strength. It’s a weakness. A real woman is feminine. She’s not trying to be another man. And sometimes instead of people healing they get hardened. There is a way life can make you hard. The pain is still underneath but there’s now a wall. If something happens that punctures it, you see that person not just bleeding, there’s now muk and different things under some people are not healed. They are now hard. They found a way to cope with life and what is happening is that they have severed certain aspect of their life and say I can’t give this one to a man. I can’t trust a man like this anymore. Life happens to all of us. But the only way to stay winning is to heal. It’s too heal. Sometimes some children can’t understand. They can’t understand the reason why particularly girls why they are not in touch with their mothers because woman too is not fine. And sometimes what we have is wounded people raising wounded people and we communicate the injuries. We get ideologies and philosophies from our injuries. No trust man while trust man. You are going to marry someone and you say don’t trust the person and you wonder the reason why you in pain. So now it’s even becoming a general thing that women are telling their daughters that if you want to have peace, don’t take your husband’s phone because of what they saw in their own husband’s phone. Heal. You have a past, you have scars, you have mistakes, you have ex or exes, those who promised you marriage, promised you heaven and earth. I don’t know where you expect the rest of us to leave, but the guy left. People you never thought will walk out of your life one day, but they left. And when they left, they left with the most potent part of you, and it looks like you’ve been struggling to heal. Heal. See, let me say this to you. If you refuse to forgive the people who betrayed you, you are injuring yourself again. If you refuse to forgive that hex who broke up with you mass, have you have you seen people? Do you see we only talk about punchlines? There are punch lines for breakup. One boy broke up with a girl and told the girl that when daddy Joe was praying for me, Daddy Joe said it is better to be single way to be married that to be married to me. I said that’s a word from the Lord. I should break up with you. Only God knows the number of people that have used my name to to lie that apostle was praying for me. He if if anybody has told you that now lie I didn’t say anything like that. ill in fact people people break up mercilessly with text message I’m done with you do your wor journey of 5 years and the girl look around and say if this is what love is I’m done no you are not done you will love again I said you are not done you will love again anyways those who left you it’s God trying to show you that they are not the only ones that exist he still has better he has sons I said God has sons Now let me say this to you. Life is not easy for the blind. You are not worthless. You’re only around those who don’t know your value. When the person you were designed for comes, you’ll be everything they’ve prayed for more. Why should you be crying over those that want to manage you? You saw what that girl wrote that time that last week said, “I have somebody I want to date, but I say I should come to you first to check you out. We’ll get there.” Now emotional trauma is real. It’s very very real. It is so bad that in marriage some women cannot bear their husbands touching them because of their rape or near rape experience they’ve had and every time the man comes close it looks like he’s about to rape her again. You see you are if you don’t let that aspect to be dealt to be dealt with, you are giving the devil a foothold in your life and the devil will mess you up. You need to heal and forgive not because of the person but because of you. The one who is in prison is you. Not the person you have not forgiven. That and you see the the funny thing is that people can ought you and move on and still succeed. And the one they have ought is the one who struggling. They see they will marry and even give birth before you. It is life. Life happens. Your enemy is not necessarily God’s enemy. Life happens to all of us. The person broke up with you didn’t break up with Jesus. If he did the wrong thing, it’s just one time a prayer, you are forgiven, moved on. That’s why you must elo a merry heart dwell good like medicine. But sorrow dries the bone. Some people are no longer looking beautiful and they are looking older than their age because they are carrying too many people in prison. You are block X plus all the friends of the X X raised to power 3, X to power two, the friends, the family, they all blocked. X to power one, the last one, you block a person. Is it until you block the entire world? Because you are hiding your pains. What you do is that you sweep them in a coffin. They will keep resurrecting. Other people will be sharing their pictures and you’ll be seeing it and you feel sad. Just recover. Take a break. You are not Superman. Okay? Take a break. Cry. It’s okay to cry. Cry if you will. Cry. When you are done crying, wipe your tears. Eat some good amala. Eat some very good food with coke. Cold one. Step it down. Okay. Learn from your mistakes. Pick yourself up again. You are a queen. Get up and deal. That’s how you do it. Get up and deal again. Don’t give people the impression that they are so important you can’t find their kind. Heal. Praise God. That’s the first thing. Very important thing you need to do. Okay. So we don’t have the marriage of broken people who are now dysfunctional and toxic to themselves. Overreaction is a sign that there’s an injury. Who do you see when you look at your spouse? Do you see your spouse? Are you aware some people have never seen their spouse before? Let me share my story. Let me share my story. I couldn’t really love in all honesty. I couldn’t. I was trying. I’ll see people share pictures having you know the way all these fun things you know what those things you do with guitar singing I’ll be wondering what is it that this part in my own life is blocked or what you understand what I’m saying I don’t used to and one day my friend called me early in the morning and he was shouting and he had prayed was calling my name those girls are not so and so and so heal don’t let the devil waste your life and he screaming and something left me and I discovered I was not really seeing them. I was seen somebody else who had me in them and sometimes your the person who ought to the most in life your spouse sound like the person sound exactly like the person talks like the person looks like the person imagine what will happen if you don’t heal you would even hate your child for looking like the person these matters are very deep there are many people who are smiling and taking pictures online but they are not fine so good home goes beyond pictures you sir that’s the fact that’s the first thing to do as a lady is that Number two, are you still with me? Can we continue? It is very important that you learn submission. I’m a boss lady. Stay single. Stay single. You see, stay what? I’m the first one in my house. I I tell my brothers what to do. He’s not your brother. Stay single or marry yourself. Frame your picture one. Let them choose with it. Then breathe life into it and marry yourself. Stay single. Now listen to this. Women who do well in marriage are women who understand submission. That is the injection of the Bible. Ephesians 5:2. Wives submit yourselves to your husband. So you are not using feminist Bible. You are using the holy Bible. Say we’re going to go dodge. You cook I cook. I’m going to talk about the right all those aspect of marriage. But let me stay with my teaching. Is that okay? Now in marriage as a lady you submit. You see you can be for instance you can be the pastor of your husband that is you pastor him in church you are the pastor is that okay now if he comes for work meeting you can say please all those people that came stand up it’s your it’s you that know I’m not there I’m not saying you should do that it’s you that know you understand what I’m saying that’s church it’s between you and God and him when you are done doing all those things in church when you get home this is your head you can be the MD the CEO of your company when you get home submit it. And the reason why women have issues with submission is because they have examples of women who submitted to foolish head. So you too, it is now your duty to pick the head you want to submit to. If you know the person is stupid, why did you marry the person? Do you understand what I’m saying? Now I’ve seen cases and people have abused this issue of submission and I’m not going to massage anybody’s ego. I’ll tell you the truth as it is. People have abused it so much so that some men will wait for their wives to get salary and say come and drop it on my table. Then they will now pick what the woman say I already agree. Calm down. All right. They will now pick and say, “Okay, how much your salary this month?” Okay. 550,000. Okay. Yeah. Take the 50,000 on it. That’s it. I’m going to get there. Relax. Relax. Relax. Let’s just start. Let’s continue for Is that okay? Now, you saw the person and you went for the person. When you pick what you want to eat at the table, eat it. It’s your responsibility. You when we say know the person you were eating shama were we there were we not where we were you were the one eating singing follow me now he’s doing what he’s doing what he was born to do what he has been doing since that you didn’t see because you are not looking just complimenting his beard oh wow they are shining but the brain is not you can’t see that one I just like you look at his chest wow All mine plus the trouble, plus the sense plus the childishness. All yours.
APOSTLE FEMI LAZARUS
WHAT YOU MUST UNDERSTAND BEFORE MARRIAGE
SPHERE OF LIGHT CHURCH
LIGHT CHURCH
